Ten Worst Films 2000-2010 Part 1
This list consists of the films I consider to be an infected scar on the face of the cinema experience and somebody should pay for their failings, plus pay me back for the money I spent watching them. Don’t worry if your worst movie isn’t on here because there is always part 2 coming.
Battlefield Earth (2000)
This big-budget science fiction adventure centres on a final battle between good and evil for control of the world. In the year 3000, Earth is ruled by the Psyclos, a vicious alien race of which Terl (John Travolta) is a member, that has laid waste to the planet, killed the majority of the population, and stripped Earth of its valuable resources. Well just from that description you know what a great movie this is, oh wait I am sorry I mean horrifyingly bad and just doesn’t appeal to anyone nor should it have been made or shown on the cinema.
Looks like a B movie and sounds like a B except it had some big actors and a $75 million budget, that does raise the question was this spent mainly on crack because I just can’t explain this movie if I tried. The aliens look just ridiculous and could have come from a star trek episode in the 60’s rather than a 21st century blockbuster. The acting was terrible and writing was all over the place. Oh and this is my favourite fact about the movie, it’s based off a book written by the founder of the church of Scientology which is just amazing. Just please don’t watch it! Unless it’s for laughs because it did put me on the floor laughing.
There are some other marvel interpretations that should be on the list but this one really took the cake because I liked the daredevil story and was really easy to make into a movie but what we got was an ill-conceived super hero flick with no passion. One of Marvel Comics’ most popular characters comes to the screen for the first time in this sci-fi action-thriller. Matthew Murdock (Ben Affleck) is a lawyer whose father, a prize-fighter, was killed by gangsters when Murdock was just a boy. Since then, Murdock has devoted his life to bringing wrongdoers to justice and is willing to help others by taking on cases no other attorney will touch.
A collection of false starts interrupted by an awful lot of angst-ridden contemplation, the film serves up soul-searching gush without much pulse-pounding rush. Some scenes felt more like a music video than a scene from a film (the Elektra sand bag scene). The fight scenes just seemed very weird at times with strange special effects when the daredevil was jumping and moving in the distance which was poor. The two main bad guys weren’t much of anything as bulls eye was just some guy who threw things even though a gun would have done and the king pin was just a strong person who didn’t show any of the street smarts of a gangster from the mean criminal world. Just please don’t watch it!
Son of the Mask (2005)
Clearly a movie were nobody cared about what was being made or of trying to make a good sequel to the mask because whatever this is supposed to be it isn’t the mask at all. The strange mask that gave Jim Carrey remarkable powers in the 1994 hit The Mask makes a mess of a seemingly ordinary family in this special effects-laden comic fantasy.
It’s astonishing how dull a movie this is even with packing so much visual over-stimulation into its frames almost like they are just trying to flash a light to keep your eye from either closing or looking around the room for something more interesting like paint drying. Just please don’t watch it!
Epic Movie (2007)
This is a movie that belongs to a great genre of skit comedies but is so far away in terms of, well you pick comedy, acting, writing, visuals or just plain concepts because this is just awful in all of them. Scary Movie screenwriters Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer join forces to parody the “biggest” movies ever to hit the silver screen in this comedy that gives such popular box-office hits as Pirates of the Caribbean and Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe the same treatment that Scary Movie gave to the slasher sub-genre (not).
Don’t even want to talk about this one anymore. But I am very opinionated so here it goes, it picked crap movies to begin with so every joke that was told had been heard 40 times somewhere else. The effects were so terrible it just felt like a high school performance for a drama class. Just please don’t watch it!
Meet the Spartans (2008)
How the f#@k do these people keep getting funding! Well they are back again tackling the 300 movie which was yet again mocked to death before the film even came out so every joke was dated and cheap. From the creators of Scary Movie and Date Movie comes this tongue-in-cheek parody of the sword-and-sandal epics, dubbed Meet the Spartans.
My favourite review for this movie is “I’m moving to Europe.” Aaron Hillis. Well sadly Aaron we got it in Europe too so there is no escape from this awful excuse for a film. This movie begs the question of what happened to those scary movie writers because it’s like compare a turd to a diamond between those movies. Just please don’t watch it!