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Piranha 3DD (2012) Review

The film is terrible, just terrible. The first film wasn’t bad and had some alright points in it but this one just gave up and it really tells. Not a huge surprise that its terrible but I will be explaining why it was so bad.

After the terror unleashed on Lake Victoria in Piranha 3D, the pre-historic school of blood thirsty piranhas are back. This time, no one is safe from the flesh eating fish as they sink their razor sharp teeth into the visitors of summer’s best attraction, The Big Wet Water Park. Christopher Lloyd reprises his role as the eccentric piranha expert with survivor Paul Scheer and a partially devoured Ving Rhames back for more fish frenzy. David Hasselhoff trades in the sandy beaches of “Baywatch” to be a celebrity lifeguard at the racy water park. Prepare for double the terror, double the action and double the D’s in this sequel also starring Gary Busey, Katrina Bowden, Danielle Panabaker, Matt Bush, Chris Zylka and David Koechner

The advice I would give to readers is, avoid it at all costs. All costs! Tim’s Film Reviews: no and if you get the chance burn all the copies.

10%

To start off let’s talk about the acting. The acting was actually pretty good, oh wait I mean terrible (going to be the word of the day on this site). The main characters where as bad as I expected (Terrible). Now I am not asking for much in these types of films but you can at least be funny, why weren’t they funny? The scenes that made me crack a smile where with David Hasselhoff, just doing…well you know just being his ridiculous self. The rest of the cast just read their lines in the most boring and unemotional way possible, the only thing I feel watching this is how much the cast just didn’t care. The whole thing was weak; Deputy Fallon’s part was short and was just reading lines which were funnier in the trailer.

Just watch the trailer because it’s much better than anything you will see in the full film, believe me. Check it out:

The special effects were as bad as always but it didn’t feel like a budget issue, but more like they were just making the effects so they can add it to a resume for a starting special effects company ‘schrecklich’(that German for terrible, I think). Now then the plot, completely wrong! Whoever thought of the film being set in a water theme park was an idiot and clearly doesn’t get how a film is supposed to play out. Let me explain, the whole film just plays out the stupid boring character story arc that I couldn’t care less about. The fact that a horror comedy film has no comedy and I would say 20 minutes of “action” is shockingly bad. planet worked really well and I just loved it. Just the name of everything sounds great to any fully fledged nerds out there (me, and you probably if you are reading my reviews).

Why did we all agree to ruin our careers? The humanity!

The best review I found would be either “Witless, technically slipshod, and neither remotely scary nor titillating, it pretty much fails on all levels.” Frank Swietek. Or “With most of the running time devoted to setting up and over-explaining the premise, mayhem gets short shrift” Justin Lowe. What I really like about these are that they pretty much go with what I have said (me super vain).

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About Tim The Film Guy

Very opinionated about films Mwahahahahaha!

12 responses to “Piranha 3DD (2012) Review”

  1. wordschat says :

    I have to admit my friend and I liked it. I think I reviewd it on my blog. Sure it wasn’t as good as the first which was a fulklk plot not just pasted together situations but it was a gulity pleasure of laughs. Hasselhoff and the end credits for 10 minutes were a hoot Sometimes I go for dumb and this delivered.

    Like

    • Tim The Film Guy says :

      Then watch outtakes, because this just sucked to me 🙂

      Like

    • TheBruce says :

      Yeah outtakes =/= film. Plus, the film was seventy minutes long minus the last ten and it STILL felt like three hours. I loved the first movie. Aja and Co. seemed like they were having a lot of fun making it and it shows. 3DD just seems like they were going through the motions. I don’t know how you could waste the talents of Busey, Hasselhoff, Rhames, Lloyd and Clu Gulager, but they did it. Johnny boy and his cronies have been hitting one note their entire career, which has been over since the end of the first FEAST movie.

      Like

  2. Franz Patrick says :

    I thought the first one was bearable–idiotic main guy but the movie had some redeeming factors because I felt that the filmmakers had fun with what they had.

    I have no expectation at all for this movie. The trailer was so ridiculous that it made me laugh the first time I saw it (I thought it was a fake trailer!) so I’m still planning to see it. Wish me luck. Haha.

    Like

  3. The Focused Filmographer says :

    “Bring me my legs” hahaha.

    Yeah, not planning on spending my money or time on this one. Thanks for the review and for taking one for the team on this one.

    Like

    • Tim The Film Guy says :

      Well the first wasn’t too bad and I thought wrongfully that this would be at least along the same lines.

      It wasn’t and my advice stands so just watch the trailer because anything good, what little there was is on the trailer 🙂

      ‘bring me my legs’ was the best part 🙂

      Like

  4. theipc says :

    Yep – there wasn’t much good to report about on this one….

    Like

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  1. Tim’s Worst Films of 2012 « Tim's Film Reviews - January 4, 2013

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