Piranha 3DD (2012) Review
The film is terrible, just terrible. The first film wasn’t bad and had some alright points in it but this one just gave up and it really tells. Not a huge surprise that its terrible but I will be explaining why it was so bad.
After the terror unleashed on Lake Victoria in Piranha 3D, the pre-historic school of blood thirsty piranhas are back. This time, no one is safe from the flesh eating fish as they sink their razor sharp teeth into the visitors of summer’s best attraction, The Big Wet Water Park. Christopher Lloyd reprises his role as the eccentric piranha expert with survivor Paul Scheer and a partially devoured Ving Rhames back for more fish frenzy. David Hasselhoff trades in the sandy beaches of “Baywatch” to be a celebrity lifeguard at the racy water park. Prepare for double the terror, double the action and double the D’s in this sequel also starring Gary Busey, Katrina Bowden, Danielle Panabaker, Matt Bush, Chris Zylka and David Koechner
The advice I would give to readers is, avoid it at all costs. All costs! Tim’s Film Reviews: no and if you get the chance burn all the copies.
To start off let’s talk about the acting. The acting was actually pretty good, oh wait I mean terrible (going to be the word of the day on this site). The main characters where as bad as I expected (Terrible). Now I am not asking for much in these types of films but you can at least be funny, why weren’t they funny? The scenes that made me crack a smile where with David Hasselhoff, just doing…well you know just being his ridiculous self. The rest of the cast just read their lines in the most boring and unemotional way possible, the only thing I feel watching this is how much the cast just didn’t care. The whole thing was weak; Deputy Fallon’s part was short and was just reading lines which were funnier in the trailer.
Just watch the trailer because it’s much better than anything you will see in the full film, believe me. Check it out:
The special effects were as bad as always but it didn’t feel like a budget issue, but more like they were just making the effects so they can add it to a resume for a starting special effects company ‘schrecklich’(that German for terrible, I think). Now then the plot, completely wrong! Whoever thought of the film being set in a water theme park was an idiot and clearly doesn’t get how a film is supposed to play out. Let me explain, the whole film just plays out the stupid boring character story arc that I couldn’t care less about. The fact that a horror comedy film has no comedy and I would say 20 minutes of “action” is shockingly bad. planet worked really well and I just loved it. Just the name of everything sounds great to any fully fledged nerds out there (me, and you probably if you are reading my reviews).
Why did we all agree to ruin our careers? The humanity!
The best review I found would be either “Witless, technically slipshod, and neither remotely scary nor titillating, it pretty much fails on all levels.” Frank Swietek. Or “With most of the running time devoted to setting up and over-explaining the premise, mayhem gets short shrift” Justin Lowe. What I really like about these are that they pretty much go with what I have said (me super vain).