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Tag Archive | Machete Kills

5 Worst Films of 2013

This is my list of the worst films released in 2013 that I had the misfortune to watch. I really enjoyed making my top ten films of 2013, but now it’s time for my worst of list and I really hate making, almost as much as watching the films on it. You might want to read my full reviews because I have heard my reviews of terrible films can be quite funny, my angry nature as I write about them must clearly bring tears to people’s eye. If anyone disagrees then get help because these are awful, otherwise please enjoy. Next post will be my most anticipated films of 2014 so keep an eye out.

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Machete Kills (2013) Review

The first film was in that category of its cheesy and totally grindhouse mad and whilst both of those apply to this there is also a lot WHAT?!  Going on that makes this more of an “it’s so bad its good” category which is fine as well if you are in the mood for it. I still had a really good laugh watching it and if you have friends who don’t mind the first film then you will have a ball! This is going to be a short review because the only way I can really describe this film is how I’d say never to make a film. I’ll go into much more detail below but for now bookmark this if you are waiting to see the film, leave any comments below, if you have seen the film then check out the spoiler sections and I will look forward to hearing everyone’s thoughts.

“Machete don’t tweet.” Loves him some helicopter kills though!

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Machete Kills (Red Band Trailer #2) Review

Now that’s more like it. I didn’t like the first one because it was a bit dull and boring. But with this you get action, laughs, terrible CGI and lots of sexy ladies. I think with a film like this you need a good red band because otherwise you are restraining 90% of the film from the trailer. This reminds me a lot more of the grindhouse trailer for the first one, even the voice over guy. Enjoy the review and please tell me your initial reactions to this new trailer.

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Machete Kills (Trailer #1) Review

What was that?! Explosive nothing is all I can really describe it as, weak trailer. What happened to the hysterical Grindhouse trailer that made the first one so famous? (Here) Don’t know where to begin so I’ll just pick a complaint at random. There are too many guest stars, the characters are going to be watered down to make room for them all and it will not work, also half of them can’t act and aren’t even actors. Next up we have a narrator with such a strong Mexican accent I thought he was speaking Spanish until I recognized an English word and couldn’t believe it, especially in an international trailer because am pretty good with accents and this threw me way off. Lastly this trailer was basically a flash card presentation to show all its stars and its lost most of the…not charm but rough and cheap feel from the 80’s to the films production. It looks like it has been crushed by its own success.

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